"I ate Saturday"
I think about this deleted scene from Bridesmaids at least once a day
If you have any taste whatsoever, you probably — like me — think that Bridesmaids is a perfect movie. This isn’t up for debate, in my opinion.
The script is bar-for-bar perfect and so tight it feels like they shredded it with a red pen hundreds of times. Every single actor is a damn miracle worker. It produced some of the most iconic movie quotes of the past fifteen years.
There were a few years in middle school where every time my friends and I got into a car, someone would go “hey, who’s driving that car?” My friend Aaron to this day says “shit, that’s fresh” whenever he takes a sip of basically anything, after the scene when Annie’s handed the pink lemonade at the engagement party. I challenge you to walk into one Paper Source or local card store and NOT find a bachelorette party/wedding card with the “I’m ready to PARTAAAAY” scene on the front.
Piggybacking and kick flipping and 360ing off of this scene, I’m also here to admit that I once dressed up as Steve/Stove — the bald flight attendant from the same plane sequence — for a costume party in college. The theme was “famous Steves,” so of course … I chose Stove. Unfortunately, I look far too drunk in every photo I have from the event, so we’ll be saving that one for the archives.
Bridesmaids also changed the game for women-led comedies. Never before had an entirely female ensemble cast led such a big ticket movie. It’s raunchy and hilarious and gross and honest in a way that its predecessors like The Hangover or Superbad are, but it never punches down. It paved the way for movies like Booksmart and Bad Moms and Pitch Perfect and Blockers and basically any big ticket, A-lister stacked movie of women. It is a movie that I have seen so many times I can recite it word for word and yet, I somehow still cry laughing through every single perfect moment of the bridal party speeches sequence. She is just a perfect movie, through and through.
Unless you live under an absolute rock, you’ve seen Bridesmaids at least once. Maybe so many times you can recite it like me. But one of my favorite scenes in the entire movie is actually a deleted one, and it’s not something everyone’s been lucky enough to see.
In case you’re new to it, introducing: “I ate Saturday.”
I’m not sure where entirely in the movie this is supposed to fall — definitely pre-Annie sleeping with Rhodes, pre-Vegas trip, but I think post-dress fitting food poisoning incident — but the general gist of the scene is that Annie goes on a blind date. She goes to the man’s house to meet him before they head out and finds out that he has a bespectacled, dorky little five-year-old son. While her date runs upstairs to “grab something,” Annie’s left in an uncomfortable staring contest with the son on the couch.
Every single time I watch this scene, I have NO idea how it was cut from the final movie. It’s one of the movie’s best back and forths, second only to Annie’s fight with the teenager at the jewelry store (which, by the way, please carve ten minutes out of your life to watch the extended cut of that).
I have no idea why the full deleted scene doesn’t exist on YouTube, so here it is in two parts (the part where she sneaks upstairs to overhear her date gets cut out):
When Annie sneaks up to hurry her date along, she overhears him shit-talking her to his ex-wife (“she’s not even that pretty”). She decides to leave, but when she walks back downstairs, the little boy has given himself a tour of her purse and is spinning through her birth control pills.
“Did you eat one of those???” she asks.
“….I ate Saturday,” he says.
“Something’s gonna happen to you. I don’t know what it is, but something’s gonna happen to your body.”
I think I have seen this scene probably fifty times over the course of my life, and every. single. time. this kid says “I ate Saturday,” I absolutely lose my mind. It lives in my brain like “your wedding better watch it” from Bride Wars, or “goodbye, trolley people” from Princess Diaries, or “when my eyes are closed, I see you for what you truly are! which is UGLY!” from She’s the Man. It is a truly perfect line of dialogue. Add it to the hall of fame.
I have no idea who this little boy is, but I sure as hell hope he’s doing well. His little glasses and his chubby little cheeks!!! His khakis and plaid short sleeve button down. The way he stares at her SO SO uncomfortably. When he unironically says “you’re making me uncomfortable.” His dancing to some smooth jazz.
This comedic timing at age five can’t be taught. That’s some god given talent. He damn near gives Kristen Wiig a run for her money. Get him hosting the Golden Globes next year, I’m so sorry Nikki Glaser!