A Galentine's treat for your nose
Happy Galentine's Day from Christina Loff of the Dry Down Diaries!
First and foremost — Happy Galentine’s Day!!! Today we honor one of Parks and Rec’s most sacred creations: a day to celebrate your homies. And to celebrate Galentine’s Day in style, I wanted to invite one of MY homies onto Park It to give you a fun treat. Biiiig welcome to one of my absolute favorite coworkers, ! Christina writes a fantastic Substack called The Dry Down Diaries, which is all about perfume. She’s personally gotten me to upgrade from one signature scent to 3 perfumes and a discovery set (she’s the reason my wallet is hurting right now). I have her sticker on my laptop. I do whatever she tells me to do. I’m a big fan.
The minute I turned on this week’s episode of Parks and Rec, “Indianapolis,” I immediately texted Christina to see if she’d deign to collaborate with me. Episode 6 features Ron, Chris, and Leslie running off to Indianapolis to accept an award. They spend more time with Chris than expected due to the closure of Ron’s favorite steakhouse, which works well for Leslie; Ann’s concerned Chris is cheating on her and asks Leslie to scope the scene. When Leslie find a pink women’s razor in Chris’s shower, she calls Ann, who rushes to Indianapolis to confront Chris. Things get awkward when Chris reveals he ACTUALLY broke up with Ann a few weeks back, but he did it so nicely that Ann had no idea she was being dumped. Not her finest moment.
I wanted to bring Christina in because of what’s happening back in Pawnee — Tom invites the rest of the gang to the Snakehole Lounge, where he’s trying to impress local perfume legend Dennis Feinstein (played by my fave Jason Mantzoukas) with a perfume Tom created. Dennis hates the perfume and Tom leaves dejected, but it gives him and Ben some great bonding moments. But I’m not the perfume expert here. Without further ado, let’s give a drumroll to an absolute queen amongst mortals: Christina Loff.
Hey Christina! Thanks so much for joining us here on Park It this week. I wanted to bring you on to chat because of the big perfume side plot we have on P&R in the “Indianapolis” episode. But to start, will you tell us more about The Dry Down Diaries and your relationship to perfume?
Thanks for having me! I’ve been a fragrance fan for over a decade after my first visit to an amazing perfume store in San Francisco called Tiger Lily (now Ministry of Scent). After unsuccessfully trying to convince a good friend of mine (and much bigger fraghead than me) to start a perfume Substack with me for over a year I decided to go it alone and launched The Dry Down Diaries in January of 2024. I write about all facets of perfume and smell through in-depth reviews, interviews with perfumers and fragheads, and personal essays about smells that make me nostalgic. I try to make the sometimes intimidating world of fragrance feel more accessible and exciting and I love helping people find their next favorite scent. My readers include lifelong perfume lovers and newbies to the world of fragrance. It’s so much fun being able to write about my fragrance finds and connect with other perfume nerds.
Have you seen Parks and Rec before?
Yes! I think I watched the first couple of seasons and then dropped off for some reason. But watching this episode reminded me of what an insane cast this show has — it’s such an all star lineup. And the characters are all so good. Ron Swanson may be one of my favorite TV characters.
What did you think of the “Indianapolis” episode in your rewatch?
I loved it. And you’ll be happy to know I kept watching after this episode — it’s such a good show. It’s especially fun to see Adam Scott since I'm deep in season two of Severance right now. And Aziz Ansari is so annoying and perfect. Aubrey Plaza too! It’s really fun to see all these actors so early in their career. And of course I loved the perfume subplot.
Okay yes! So I obviously wanted to chat with you because of Tom’s perfume subplot. As a perfume expert, what did you think while you were watching this?
Ha! I feel much more comfortable calling myself a perfume enthusiast. I thought it was ridiculous and I wish we heard more about what Tom’s cologne and all of Dennis Feinstein’s fragrances smelled like. I was really hoping that Tom’s cologne was actually really good and Dennis didn’t want to admit it because it would have been competition for him. But when Ben smells it, we know it’s actually bad. Dennis’s perfumes had ridiculous names and I wish we had seen some of the bottles and the branding. I wanted more actual perfume in this perfume subplot!
So the punchline of Tom’s subplot is that his cologne smells terrible. What do you think it smells like?
I think Tom would have actually used ingredients that he thought smelled good. His cologne is named “Fresh” after all. But I think he would have used all the wrong proportions so it just smelled like a kid's weird potion. Like when you get really excited and mix a bunch of stuff together just because you can. I imagine you get a nice citrus smell at the opening like a bergamot – I bet he was trying to make something like a CK1 but just had no idea what he was doing. So there’s a second of a pretty citrus opening and then I imagine there’s eucalyptus and pine (he was trying for a real woodsy vibe too). Then I imagine he put something heavy in there to make it feel what he thinks is masculine, maybe tobacco (which can actually smell really sweet), or leather and amber. Alone, all the notes smell great so I could see him just combining a bunch of things he thought would smell good. But together there’s no focus and it’s just an unbalanced cacophony of notes that smell bad. I mean — the way Ben was sick after he sprayed it in Dennis’s car did make me think there was oud in there, but there’s no way Tom would have known what oud is.
Can you tell us a bit about what goes into making perfume? I know that you don’t make your own, but you know people that do!
Whenever I hear about people studying to become perfumers it reminds me of studying to be a doctor. People can study for years and then they usually do apprenticeships after their formal education. And it can take years to get a fragrance perfected -- most perfumes go through many mods (modifications) before the nose (perfumer) lands on a scent they feel is ready to be released. Of course, there are some amazing self taught perfumers who have very successful businesses, but even if you’re self taught you’ve still usually studied for a few years and trained with other perfumers. I’m doing a nose training course this year just so I can learn more about individual notes that go into fragrances. I feel like the inevitable end for me is to make my own perfume, but just hearing about the schooling kind of exhausts me.
Most perfumes are constructed by putting together layers of notes typically called top notes, heart or middle notes, and base notes. Top notes tend to be lighter with molecules that don’t stick around as long, mid notes are a little heavier and stay around longer and base notes are what you most often smell in the dry down which is the final phase of the fragrance on your skin. Good perfumes are like works of art - there is so much craft that goes into making them!
Sounds like a gnarly, long process. So I guess it’s totally fair then that Tom’s perfume smells bad?
Yes! I think so. My guess is Tom had no idea what he was doing and just threw a bunch of notes together. But I do love his passion for fragrance!
Here’s kind of a fun question - a rapid fire where you name the signature scents of the main characters. You can either name specific perfumes if any come to mind, or just talk about their main vibes. Ready?
Let’s do it.
What do we think for Leslie?
Leslie would wear something really approachable and liked by everyone. Something not too strong or offensive. I could see her wearing Clinique Happy, a fresh slightly citrus, slightly floral scent that people generally like. If she was into indie frags, I bet she’d wear something by Liis like Floating, which is a fresh light scent with a little woodsy note. It would be a nice nod to her job.
What about Ron?
Ron would wear Old Spice. Straight forward, practical, no frills. Something he could wear while chopping wood.
What do we think Ann smells like?
Ann would wear a cool girl scent - something from Le Labo like Thé Noir 29.
So imagine Tom actually made a good scent. What would he smell like?
Honestly, I think he would smell like CK1! Something actually fresh and clean smelling. He’s a pretty mainstream dude so I feel like he’d wear whatever was the trendiest scent at the moment.
Okay and our last, 13th question in honor of Galentine’s Day. Am I your favorite coworker?
Most definitely.
Thanks so much for joining us Christina! See you at work.
Happy Galentine’s Day, everyone. I’m back next week with ANOTHER hugely special treat. Highlight reel of a few weeks here on Park It. Subscribe to Christina so I remain her favorite coworker! And tell her how cool she is:
Also would highly recommend reading this super interesting profile of Lorne Michaels from Vulture, pre-SNL50 this weekend — I got sucked in for a good 20 mins.
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This was so much fun Bailey! Thank you for having me on Park It. <3
I could also see Ron just dabbing himself with bacon fat